Articles & Resources

Thoughtful writing on relationships, motherhood, parenting, anxiety, and the patterns that shape how we experience ourselves and others.

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Motherhood

On anger, burnout, identity, resentment, and the emotional complexity of caring for others while trying not to lose yourself.

Parenting

For parents navigating adolescence, technology, boundaries, emotional regulation, and the changing role of parenthood.

Relationships

Writing on communication, conflict, codependency, emotional availability, and the patterns that repeat in intimate relationships.

Anxiety & Self-Trust

For people who look composed on the outside but feel uncertain, self-critical, over-responsible, or disconnected from their own needs.

All writing

parenting Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD parenting Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD

Why Parenting Some Children Feels So Much Harder Than You Expected

Parenting a child with ADHD or executive functioning challenges often feels confusing, exhausting, and lonely. This article explores why traditional parenting advice frequently falls short, how shame quietly shapes the parent-child relationship, and what actually helps children build regulation while helping parents feel more confident.

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Relationships Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD Relationships Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD

How Childhood Roles Follow You Into Adulthood

Many adults eventually realize they are still playing the same emotional role they played in childhood: the caretaker, the achiever, the peacekeeper, the “easy” one. In this post, a therapist explores how family systems, temperament, psychodynamic theory, IFS, self psychology, and relational patterns shape adult identity, relationships, anxiety, perfectionism, and emotional habits long into adulthood—and how healing begins with awareness rather than blame.

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Relationships, Motherhood Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD Relationships, Motherhood Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD

“If I Don’t Do It, It Won’t Get Done.” Why So Many Women Feel Trapped Carrying Everything

Many women feel trapped carrying the emotional and logistical weight of family life not because they want control, but because somewhere along the way, their nervous system learned: “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.” This post explores emotional labor, overfunctioning, resentment, marriage dynamics, and the difficult process of learning to let go of what was never fully yours to carry alone.

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Relationships Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD Relationships Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD

How to Help Someone You Love Who Won't Help Themselves

When someone you love is struggling—drinking, using, gambling, spiraling, avoiding responsibility, or repeatedly hurting themselves and others, it’s natural to want to help. But the painful truth is that trying to fix, rescue, monitor, convince, or control someone else often deepens the cycle for everyone involved. In this post, a therapist explores what Al-Anon teaches about detaching with love, why enabling is usually rooted in anxiety rather than selfishness, and how to stay connected to someone you love without losing yourself trying to save them.

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Relationships Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD Relationships Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD

The Real Reason Boundaries Feel So Hard

Boundaries have become one of the most popular concepts in psychology—and one of the most misunderstood. Real boundaries are not about controlling other people, saying no to everything, or cutting people off. They are about remaining connected to yourself even when someone else is disappointed, uncomfortable, or disagrees.

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Motherhood Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD Motherhood Rebecca Lesser Allen, PsyD

Why Are Mothers Always Asking for Permission?

"Am I allowed to stop breastfeeding? Am I allowed to need more help? Am I allowed to feel angry? One of the most common phrases I hear from mothers in therapy is some version of 'Am I allowed?' What if the guilt so many mothers feel isn't a personal failing, but a reflection of larger cultural expectations about what motherhood is supposed to look like?"

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